I Walked Away. Now I’m Finding My Way Back.

After a career in education, burnout caught up with me. I needed time to heal. I needed time to reflect. Now, I am finding my way back…

Exactly one month ago, I participated in a leadership retreat in Rosarito, México with Circulo Tapátl, a coalition of nonprofit Latine leaders that has contracted me as a facilitator. I was excited to be a part of this, but I had no idea how profoundly it would impact me.

While I was there, I felt connected in so many ways. The sights, the food, the people, and the way everything seemed to slow down just enough to breathe it all in and process. I was inspired by the minds and souls of those around me, and I began to feel a healing and awakening I didn’t know I had been missing.

A little over two years ago, I walked away from a job that had been everything to me. Unfortunately, I had waited too long to leave, and the burnout I experienced had already done damage. I had to embark on a healing journey. Part of that journey included making the decision to walk away from the education world, a world I had dedicated most of my education and career to. At the time, it felt like what I needed. A clean break to rebuild completely fresh. My time designing curriculum, working as a community educator, teaching, advocating for families, and building equitable systems and programming was going to be a thing of the past.

My plan? I was going to use all the transferable skills I had gained to do something different. Outreach sounded good and still important. Building my own business and using my skills in a more wellness-centered way sounded good too. And so, this is what I worked on. This was what felt right… mostly.

And so, I have been doing well. I have continued my healing by prioritizing my mental health. I honor and put effort into the relationships in my life that matter. My tribe has grown, although honestly, it was always there. I just can now see it more clearly and put intentional effort into making space for their love and my love for them. I have mended relationships with those I felt were worthy. Honestly, I’ve been feeling pretty good. But if I am honest, in the quieter moments I noticed there were still some shadows in my heart and mind. Then the experience I had a month ago lit up those shadows, and I was faced with the fullness of myself.

When I got back home, I was feeling a lot of feelings. And let me tell you, it was uncomfortable. I was back in reality and didn’t know how to keep the flame lit. Every day I would light my palo santo and pray that the healing I experienced would continue to guide me. My palito would light, smolder, smoke, and then go out. I felt the same way.

I started to reflect again on my time away as well as what things were like several years ago. I realized the common themes, what I was missing, and what I needed.

I needed connection to my community. I needed to have complex, aspirational conversations. I needed joy. I needed all of it to be part of work that supports and builds community. And I needed my life’s work, thus far, to continue.

I realize now that I don’t need to leave my life’s work behind. I need to return to it in a way that feels aligned, sustainable, and rooted in community.

Honestly, I am still figuring out exactly what all of this means. I am still figuring out the logistics of my needs. What I do know is that I have a platform to get started through Cariño. I am excited about the changes I have made to my services, and I can’t wait to continue my journey of healing, self-discovery, and community building.